


Hellfire

by DarthLivion (impulsewriter)



Series: Fallen Archangel [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Crowley Was Raphael Before He Fell (Good Omens), Light Angst, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 14:00:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19319617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impulsewriter/pseuds/DarthLivion
Summary: Crowley reflects, as he faces Gabriel for Aziraphale, about who he is, who he was, and just how, maybe, Falling hadn't been so bad.





	Hellfire

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jamestkirk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamestkirk/gifts), [obaewankenope (rexthranduil)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rexthranduil/gifts).



> Uhhhh, my first Good Omens fic??? I've only seen the show though, so -shrug- I tried? Also I gave up on trying to figure out the footnotes so, sorry guys. At least this isn't 6k like SOME people's fics lmao
> 
> There IS a part 2, but I'm debating on making it a chapter 2 or it's own part, so for now, this fic says complete.
> 
> Not Beta'd we die like shitheads who are too lazy to beta and edit their own things lmao The end notes are the Footnotes by the way.

It wasn't much, to think of stepping into Aziraphale's place to take on the Hellfire. Crowley hadn't thought anything of it, because while he could, potentially, survive Holy Water (not that he'd ever _tested_ it, because there was always a _what if you're wrong?_ factor in those things), Aziraphale sure as hell couldn't survive Hellfire.

It wasn't often that he thought of who he was Before, but today, as he stood wearing Aziraphale's face, standing in front of Gabriel – Gabriel, the Messenger, who used to laugh and smile and hug him when they were fledglings – he couldn't help but think back on it, on his old name, on who Raphael was.

Raphael – who was too curious for his own good, who questioned Her on why she allowed Suffering to what she claimed was Her favorite new pet project called humanity, only to be cast out with Lucifer and the others – had been a good angel, gentle, caring, loving, and often playing with Fledglings and teaching them, right alongside Michael...

But that was in the days before he let Lucifer talk doubt into his mind, doubt and questions and _why does Suffering_ _ **exist**_ , and this was after that.

Long after that.

Aziraphale had been the only one, since then, to care about him as who he is now, and not for who he used to be (especially since he'd never _told_ Aziraphale, of who he used to be), so it was easy to take his place. He loved – it was his downfall, in the end – too much. He loved humanity too much, and he'd fallen. Now, Crowley had fallen a second time: he had fallen in love with Aziraphale.

And he'd never been brave enough to tell the angel, just how much he meant to Crowley.

“Don't talk to me about the Greater Good, Sunshine!” Gabriel snapped, after Crowley attempted to bring it up. “I'm the archangel **fucking** Gabriel! Now. Shut up. And die already.”

Between Gabriel dissing Aziraphale, and then this, Crowley was more than tempted to break character, and beat the shit out of his brother[1]

The Hellfire stung, but more so like how a young kid might feel about getting stung by a bee for the first time[2]. Crowley didn't ponder more on it, as he stood in the fire, staring at the angels and demon assembled, simply smiling at them with the confidence of a smug cat who'd gotten to eat the canary, and knew he couldn't actually get in trouble for it, because the canary was a pain in the ass the owner didn't want anymore, anyways.

Like that.

And then, for shits and giggles, Crowley spat out fire at them, because while he hadn't meant to Fall, and he regretted it a lot, he was, after all still a demon[3].

He was sent out not long after, with his brother and the others terrified of Aziraphale, and Crowley was, once more, wearing that smug smile.

Meeting with Aziraphale in the park, it felt like a relief, to switch back. And yeah, the others would probably come back and smite them to nothing, but Crowley couldn't find it in himself to care about that. Aziraphale was sitting next to him, and Crowley wanted nothing more than to tell him how he felt.

“Might I tempt you to lunch? My treat.” He said instead, and Aziraphale smiled, and of _course_ a table for two had just so happened to _miraculously_ open up at the Ritz.

They ended up retiring back at Aziraphale's shop, in the small apartment above it, with some wine of a very good age. Crowley was lounging on the couch, as Aziraphale was in a chair, and both were pleasantly buzzed, even though it was probably just four in the afternoon. Considering all that had happened to them, Crowley doubted anyone could blame them.

“You know... You know what I think?” Crowley asked.

“What's that, dear?” Aziraphale asked.

“I think... Without a doubt... Falling maybe hadn't been that bad.” He admitted, and it hurt to admit that.

“Why's that, dear? I thought you didn't mean to Fall?” Aziraphale asked, a bit worried.

“Well... I didn't mean to. Fall, I mean. I didn't. I was tricked, actually. Question Her, and why allow Suffering, and all that.” Crowley said, expression softening. “And for a long time, I regretted that I Fell. But... Looking back, maybe it hadn't been that bad. Hurt like nothing else in the universe, and staining my wings was just even crueler, but... Thinking on it... If I hadn't Fallen... I probably wouldn't have ever met you, and I... I can't imagine not ever knowing you.” Not ever _loving_ you, was left unspoken, but he hoped that Aziraphale could hear it.

“Crowley?” Aziraphale spoke up, after a moment of silence.

“Yes, angel?”

“I love you too, you know.”

Crowley smiled, at that. Tomorrow, he'd tell Aziraphale everything – he owed the angel that much – but for now... For now he'd deal with the loss of Michael another day[5], because, at the very least, he had Aziraphale.

And Aziraphale made everything worth it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> [1]That is, if his brother even had shit in him. Considering all the shit he was saying, Crowley was more than confident that Gabriel did.  
>  [2]A young kid who was, in fact, not allergic to bee stings.  
>  [3]Demons were known to be rather spiteful, when they had been crossed, though it was usually left to the demons who were made by Lucifer, and not an angel who had Fallen, but Crowley spent all of his existence after Falling pretending to be Made, and not Fallen, and Lucifer was the only one who knew otherwise[4].  
>  [4]Most Fallen demons did not, in fact, remember most of their lives from Before, but those who had Fallen that were archangels apparently did not get that relief, because Crowley and Lucifer both remembered who they were Before, and everything that had happened between them and the others.  
>  [5]Michael was, at one point, one of the most important people in Crowley's life, if not the most important, but why that was, is to be explained at a later date.


End file.
